It took me almost three months to write on this topic. This indicates how turbulent this affair had been. “What non-sense?” was my reaction when Dr Yash Welankar, my guru in this field, introduced me to meditation; may be 10 years back. He used to teach us exercise, pranayam and meditation and its importance. I could understand benefits of exercise, even pranayam towards improvement of health and overall well-being. But sitting idle for 15/20 minutes for meditation was sheer waste of time according to me. He could not explain or rather I could not understand importance of meditation at that time. However, he was successful in sowing a seed of thought at that time.

This is how my affair started almost 10 years back. It is very much on-off type of affair. I could get some amount of consistency in my exercise, pranayam regime but not in meditation. I could not get satisfactory answers to my questions like how sitting idle for 15/20 minutes will benefit my health? How will it bring peace to my mind? How will I get more control on my anger? How will I become more satisfied and contended with my life? How will it reduce my anxiety, irritation, agitation? How will it reduce ill feelings towards past events, people whom I consider responsible for those events? These questions haunted me for long. In search of these questions I attended various meditation sessions, practices. I attended 10 days vipassana session successfully. I thought it was tiring, boring to some extent but not as difficult as it is made out to be. It is considered as operation of mind but I got thru the operation without much effect. I thought; how observing sensations on body will resolve my issues mentioned earlier. Then, I attended advanced course in art of living, got opportunity to attend Sahaj Marg meditation, Brahmavidya techniques. Meanwhile I was also impacted by Bhagwan Rajneesh’s discourses on ‘Bhagwad Gita’ in which he had emphasized on meditation as a mean to solve major problems faced by us. In-spite of all this; still something was missing. I could not get answer to big HOW? Therefore, my meditation practice was never serious, consistent and remained tentative all these years.

As they say, when student is ready guru appears on his own. Maybe I am very slow student, it took me almost ten years and I got these answers from same guru, Dr Yash Welankar, when I was reading his book “Dhyan Vidnyan”. I then, realized how westernized our thinking has become. In western culture, people believe in anything when they experiment with those things and establish facts on basis of research. However, eastern philosophy focuses more on experience without questioning and with complete faith. My westernized thinking process prevented me from practising meditation with full faith and 

gaining actual experience. My westernized thinking helped me understand those questions when it talked about advancement of studies on brain and effect of meditation on brain and its activities.

The book dealt with researches conducted by various institutes. It dealt with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s transcendental meditation (TM) and its effect on its practitioners. It dealt with experiments conducted by Dr John Kabat Zinn on effect of mindfulness on patients suffering from diseases like depression to Psoriasis. It dealt with experiments conducted by Dr Herbert Benson on effect of relaxation response on blood pressure and other diseases. It clearly stated that changes occur in brain and its areas which help us achieve desired results on questions I was struggling with. The names used by these people might be different but in essence it was meditation practice of some kind.

After reading all this my affair got new lease of life. I got answers to most of my doubts, now it is time to implement it with our eastern philosophy i.e. to experience with full faith.Why I am not getting desired results was the question I asked Dr Yash sometime back, he told me there must be something wrong in your practice. I now understand that principles are fine, there is no problem with that, problem must be there in implementation. Now I realise that the problem was too much focus on result that too in short span of time than the process. Now I realize that it has to become part of my life. It is like building muscle in gym over period of time, here we are building muscle of mind. Ultimately it will show result but there need not be hurry.

I also realized that with whatever inconsistent practice, I have got good results. I have become less agitated, much calmer person. I have become quite aware about my feelings, emotions and thoughts. The pause button between stimulus and response although not fully functional has become active. I need to work a lot on acceptance and being non-judgemental part of meditation. Whatever good results I have got although at slow speed encourage me to take on further journey with lot more intent, faith and commitment.

As part of my new year resolution, I have decided to practice meditation uninterrupted for 60 days. I am sure I am going to carry on this journey for longer period of time. It’s high time I change this relation from affair to more mature and serious level. If anybody is interested; come and join me in this journey. In case anyone has any doubts, I will be happy to share my views on the same.

Let’s meditate.